I've been having a rough week and I know I'm not the only one. I spend a lot of time questioning my actions when I know I've sought God's wisdom and prayed and read my Bible before taking any actions.
But I still second guess. I asked someone this week, how do you know if you're under attack and being persecuted for following God (which I can accept) or if you're being punished for making a wrong decision. I was told that God doesn't instill a spirit of fear, and he doesn't beat us over the head. If I sought his wisdom before I acted, then I can be confident that I'm not being punished.
This morning in church that was confirmed. Pastor David talked about how the devil can make you question God and what he says to you and how he feels about you. That's exactly how I'm feeling. He reminded us all of when what God said during the baptism of Jesus, before Jesus had even performed a miracle. "This is my Son, and with him I am well pleased." I think it's Matthew 3. God feels that way about us - before we even try to do one thing to please him.
It still stinks to feel like I'm feeling, but the message this morning reaffirmed to me that I made good decisions and I really needed that - and that God is pleased with me. I REALLY needed that!
He also tied this in to how we treat our kids. Is our love for them based on what they DO. Do they feel UNCONDITIONAL love from us. That hit home too, because I know I have very high expectations of Hannah, and I don't think God wants me to change that...but I am wondering, how much of my pride comes from her checking the box. I have to pay attention to that. I want her to know that I love her because she's my daughter - not because of anything she's done.
Unrelated news: there was an insanely cute baby girl in church today. A tiny one. I want one :) In due time I guess.