Monday, January 4, 2010

Spiritual Sunday - Trust...Ok, I get it!

Okay, so technically it's Monday, but I must write about this because today was amazing for me.

I have been struggling spiritually. Fear has always been my biggest enemy. I try to hear God's voice, but fear sets in and I feel like it totally clouds my ability to hear from God....(Good way for the devil to distract me, huh?)

*Side note: Why does Matt always fall asleep with the weirdest stuff on TV??? Tonight: Nacho Libre.

Anyway, I've been praying a lot. I've been asking God to speak to me, tell me what to do, confirm that my future will be secure. I've asked him to speak through other people because my emotions change with the wind, so it'd probably be best for him to use someone else to help me out :) Lastly, I prayed that I would not be stubborn by ignoring God if he told me something I didn't want to hear.

*Another side note: For those of you who are interested, I'm still on track in my "Reading the Bible in 90 Days" attempt. Since December 22 I've read through, Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and most of Deuteronomy. Interesting to say the least. I'm thankful for the support I have in this challenge, though I'm not confident that I'll finish it!

Sorry for my tangents! But, DID GOD ANSWER MY PRAYER!! In fact, because I needed it, he beat me over the head with it.

Two weeks ago I wrote a Spiritual Sunday post - Topic: Trust

Last week I read a devotional online for those doing the reading the Bible in 90 days thing - Topic: Trust

A couple of days ago I read the blog of a woman who's suffered so much in the last year and is overcome by fear. She had lunch with a friend who gave her a Scripture and biblical words of encouragement - Topic: Trust

Today, Pastor David's spoke in church. For some reason I was just overly excited for his message. Topic: TRUST

It really took me up to this last megaphone message from God to be brought to my knees. It finally clicked. God has been walking with me and speaking to me for TWO WEEKS and I finally GOT IT. It felt so good, I couldn't stop the tears.

Here's why the message was so hard to grasp. Sometimes I feel like trusting in God and knowing that he'll see me through thick and thin means accepting that something bad will happen. It's almost like superstition. Obviously this isn't the case and hasn't been my entire life. BUT, I need to let go of control and trust God to take care of me. That's my ONLY JOB. I can pray and let him know what I want and then trust him to do the rest.

And, for some reason, today another very basic concept hit me straight to the core.

He loves me.

ME.

HE loves ME.

SO.

MUCH.

ME.

His plans are for me to prosper, not to harm me.

I feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. He's in control, and he knows better than I do. Ahhh, relief.

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