Friday, February 5, 2010

Family Friday - A healthy marriage

I feel weird posting about this - like I know more than the rest of the world (which is obviously not true) but I'm compelled to post today on marriage. The foundation of the family unit.

It's no secret that I am insanely blessed with an amazing husband, but today I want to take a look at some basic points that I think are key to making our relationship work.

Fight Nice
Stick to the issue. That means, no name calling or bringing up past issues. Don't raise your voice. And for goodness sake - don't BICKER about stupid things.

Spend Time Together
Eat dinner at the same table, watch TV on the same couch, have a conversation. Matt and I communicate all day long through texts, phone calls and emails. I realize that not everyone is going to do that, but the idea is to keep your spouse part of your life.

Treat your Spouse Like your Treat your Friends
You probably would never talk to your friends the way you sometimes talk to your spouse. How fair is that considering all you've been through together?

Work with each other, not against
Make sure you're on the same page before your kids pit you against each other. Let them see that you are a unit that they can't wear down. Talk to each other before making purchases or altering the budget. You're a team, not individual units.

Do nice things for each other
If you think your spouse is even half as amazing as I do, then you need to do something to show it. Help them come home to a clean house, cooked dinner or maybe offer a foot massage. Are you tired and overworked? Sure. Maybe you feel like your spouse doesn't do nice things for you, so why should you bother. That's not what it's about - it's about unconditional love. Suck it up and love on your spouse. I guarantee if you stick with it, you'll be rewarded.

Be affectionate
Sleep in the same room, go to bed at the same time, greet your spouse when he/she walks in the door. Have some smoochie time each day. Act like you LIKE each other! Remember when you were dating how you were ALWAYS affectionate? That doesn't have to change...in fact, it shouldn't change.

Make your home a safe haven
Your home should always be a place of peace where you, your spouse, and your children can come to relax and recharge. If no one wants to come home because it's stressful and full of chaos and arguments you will never foster healthy familial relationships.

So, obviously you can't put a healthy marriage on paper. There's something spiritual about a healthy marriage too. Keeping God in the center is key to making a marriage healthy. Without Him,  you can't DO all the things listed above and you wouldn't have a Savior to model your behavior after. Staying strong together spiritually by worshipping and praying together is the most essential part of a successful relationship.

...now if I could only get him to buy me that diamond anniversary band...

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