There are two issues at hand here and one maybe causing the other.
You all know we've been worried about the baby's size. I have an ultrasound tomorrow morning at 10:30am and would appreciate your prayers for lots of growth and a healthy looking Emma. As of my last measurements, the size of my stomach hasn't grown in 3 weeks. Hopefully that doesn't mean the baby hasn't grown.
My nutritionist heard of what was going on and called me. She is one of the most amazing people I've met. People wonder why I'm so obsessed with Health Horizons in Oakmont...It's because they care about PEOPLE, not MONEY.
Anyhow, apparently she had the same thing happen with her fourth pregnancy. Her midwife told her to rest. Well, she had three kids at home and it was the middle of summer. There was no chance of her taking a two hour nap in the middle of the day. So she told me she began resting as soon as she put her kids to bed at night, every night and from then on, the baby began growing well again.
I know I'm over-doing it. I can't help myself. I just can't stop doing things. No one is telling me I have to stop exercising, but that I need to rest. There is something in me that's overtaking common sense.
These are the things I think about constantly every day:
How much weight am I gaining? (I'm eating plenty and gaining normally)
The house needs to be clean and organized.
I need to have food prepared for after the baby is here.
I need to get my work done.
I need to get the budget updated.
I need to get my scrapbook caught up before Emma gets here.
These are the things I focus on after I get Hannah to school and before I pick her up. When she's home - we have a whole routine that I'm focused on. I don't sit.
Anyhow Dr. Palombini told me I'm probably running off adrenaline and that I just need to find time to relax in the middle of the day. I told her that when I sit down in the middle of the day - I fall asleep for two hours - and that just confirms what she's saying.
Here's the part that's hard to share. After two afternoons spent in Labor & Delivery for dehydration and contractions on top of all this growth stuff, I told Matt that part of me just wishes they'd put me on bed rest. It would free me from the overwhelming pressure to constantly be getting things done. Do I really want to be on bed rest? Of course not. I guess I just wanted permission from a doctor to stop.
Pregnant people who act like invalids drive me crazy. I don't want to be physically limited because I'm pregnant. Maybe that's flawed thinking. Too far one-sided. Too extreme. Obviously it is, because I've reached my max. And today, I was given permission to stop. Now granted - I do this to myself. My husband, family and friends have been giving that permission (and telling me I'm nuts) for months. I just needed to hear it from a doctor.
This won't be easy for me. I'm not going to stop exercising and I'm not going to stop my cleaning routines. But I am going to make time to lay down and relax in the afternoons. I have to.
In the evenings, I'll let Matt take over a little more. He already takes over with Hannah once he gets here, but I always feel like I have to have her bathed and in her jammies when he gets home. He's more than able and willing to do that stuff for me.
So there you go. I'm not superwoman. I'm a weakling who has just aired her flaws in cyberspace.
(Wanna know what I'm thinking? I hope I have time to rest AND make a double batch of that mexican casserole tomorrow.)