Friday, May 6, 2016

When life feels uncertain...

Lately it seems as though I have felt every emotion possible, with great intensity. Life has been a roller coaster for months, and sometimes I want to jump off for a few minutes to catch my breath. It's nothing really earth shattering, just a constant state of intensity. I am weary.

I'm a "feeling" person. I'm driven by emotions, good or bad. Sometimes, during those days where I just don't feel much, I'm secretly waiting to embrace my normal self again because that's just how God made me. I feel things. 

This week, the normal intensity of life has been turned up. It's been uncomfortable. During these times, I ask myself what God is trying to teach me. What lesson am I to learn? I was quickly given my answer. 

I'm clearly being stretched. I like to be in control. As a person who has learned to manage anxiety quite well after spending much of my life suffering because of it, a need for control is most definitely my problem. I've fought this as far back as I can remember, this refusal to believe that I really do control nothing in life. 

Tonight, I embrace the beauty of learning to accept uncertainty. My God is big. My whole life has been as uncertain to me as yours has been for you, but it is not uncertain to the One who made me. The One who made you. The One who created the Heavens and the Earth, the One who is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving and ever-present. The One who already has your tomorrow in His hand.

My children do not need to know what tomorrow will hold because they trust that I will care for them. How much more does God love us? How much more capable is He to fulfill His promise to care for and protect us?


Today I sat delighted as I watched my little Emma Grace sing Mother's Day songs and bless her mama with a beautiful beaded necklace those little fingers strung on their own. I watched my growing Hannah dress up like at 90-something Stan Lee and recite facts about his life with comical poise (Is that a thing?). Today I prepared simple Mother's Day gifts for the beautiful mothers in my life. And finally, tonight with such joy and excitement, I watched my girl, her cousin, and 70 other fifth and sixth graders fill an auditorium with the beautiful sound of their voices in harmony. I felt so much. Such joy. Feelings I love to feel.

A reminder. 

He gives them as often as you look for them.

My God walks me though. My God carries me. My God has never failed me. And He covers pain, fear, uncertainty and weariness with His presence, His unspeakable joy, His love. He does this for you too.

He is our Certainty.

I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I do know WHO holds my tomorrow...and He has always come through.

Uncertainty is inevitable, but His certainty is promised. So, you and I can take our next step with confidence and without fear. Immanuel, God, is with us.

He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:29-31

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. 
Philippians 4:19

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. 
John 14:27

So tonight you and I can go to sleep in peace [because] you alone, O Lord, keep me perfectly safe. Psalm 4:8

Sleep well.

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